Occasionally, I get asked about Owen & Ella’s age gap. I get a lot of questions and a lot of comments about it. The most common question is ‘How do I like the age gap?’ Well, to be honest. I love it!
As women we are constantly having to jump through hoops to become the person we are and want to be. For myself, after having Owen at 21 I felt myself change. I felt myself move into a different lane in life, the parenting lane. Identifying myself more and more as time went on. Every stage Owen grew into I also felt myself growing with him. Slowly becoming who I wanted to be for myself and my family. As a first time mom I felt the weight and being a parent is a lot of work. I’d always tell myself let’s just get through this baby first and then decide to have another baby!
I’ve learnt a lot of lessons raising Owen and experienced my share. In no way was I hoping to become the perfect parent, I was always striving to survive! Drew and I always wanted to make sure we could give our next baby a better planned arrival. Now 10 months later, I’ve got to say that I’m so happy with the relationship my two littles have. Age is only a number. They play together and create fun ways to entertain each other. They goof around and have fun. Most importantly, I can see how much they really do love each other. It’s been so nice to not have to worry about multiple diaper changes and outfit changes. I love the responsibility it has taught Owen, how to care for others younger than himself. Expressing compassion and becoming more independent but also still be a kid at heart. He understands, that if he wakes up the baby it’s not good for anyone! Owen is a very kind hearted little boy and it makes me proud as a mom to witness him grow up and help care for his younger sister.
I always weighed in the pros and cons of waiting and having such a large age gap. I played out every scenario in my mind struggling to decide the perfect time to add a second baby to the family. To me the thought always seemed scary. The stress about money, not owning our own home or the fact that we still haven’t gotten married. My biggest worry was the thought of how adding a new baby would effect Owen. Would he adapt ok? Would he share? Will he love her? Would he become introvert and exclude everyone? Sure enough, all of that stress was a waste. I knew that I had to always treat Owen as a very important role model and my special little helper. I don’t think there’s a perfect time to plan having a baby. We’re always going to want more money in the bank. Always wanting to be at the perfect stage in our lives. Always wanting to be more successful before making that leap and having a baby. The truth is, all of that doesn’t make us a family. We make us a family!
As soon as we found out we were expecting Ella, we made sure to include Owen in everything that pertained to his baby sister. He came to every midwife appointment. We would read the baby app every night before bed, measured my belly and kept track of how big she was. His favourite was watching and feeling her inside of me! The proudest moment was watching his eyes light up the first time he met her. An age gap is never a bad thing for our littles, as long as we teach them how to love.
Keep in mind that it’s difficult at any age going from one little to having two. No matter what the age gap, you will always have tough days. You will always be tested and your patience level will always be up and down. It has it’s challenges, but a different kind of challenge. I will always tell people who ask me how I like the age gap, I love it. I have no doubts, I don’t have any fears and I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is how our family was meant to be! I always look to the future. I have a built in babysitter! Boo-Yah!